Mac Miller

Have you ever come across an artist you love right at the wrong time? That’s pretty much my relationship with Mac Miller.

I didn’t know too much about Mac until I found out he’d died and then it was all too late for me to begin building that small fortress of wonder and hope that one builds when waiting for new music from an artist you love. I actually first heard that he’d passed away when I started seeing tributes pour in. And they were from artists far and wide. It seemed that everyone had a soft spot for this unassuming dude who’s musical approach was a lot like his personality. Laid back, cruisy and nothing but honest when it came to the lyrics he weaved.

Yeah… *sigh* It’s a weird bittersweet feeling knowing that someone you’ve just realised is awesome has passed away. It was the end of 2018 when he died of an accidental overdose. I say accidental but the truth is that the dudes who sold him the gear that killed him knew it wasn’t what it should have been *sighs again*. But I’d rather have the bittersweetness than nothing at all.

I’m not sure whether it shaded my love of him or if I just sympathised with someone who struggled internally and continued to try and make sense it of through his music. But if you listen to Millers music enough [particularly his later stuff], there’s a real surrender to the temperature of his music and one that always kinda makes me feel as though I should be standing alone next to the oil drum fire at a party while everyone else is mingling….and to be entirely happy about it.

I think its because there’s an intimacy to Mac Millers music. Like its a conversation between you and him and he’s telling you stories of what he’s been through and that whatever you’re going through is cool too. Acceptance out of wanting to be accepted? or simply someone who’s found their peace with who they are and are happy to share that space with anyone who may have found themselves on the same path.

Maybe the real power of Millers work is that even though he does things that aren’t exactly healthy for himself, he’s honest enough to admit that there’s a better way just down the road and via his super chill musicality, he invites you to come with him. I know there’s a part of me that identifies…with the struggle. With the pain. With the constant drive to try and do better even though sometimes I don’t.

So partner his back of the beat nature with the shadow of his death and I found myself wanting to hear more but kinda not wanting it to be awesome because the better the music was, the more of a tragedy it would be.

….and then he posthumously wins best Rap album for ‘Swimming’, the album he was supposed to begin touring with before he died. The best music he’s ever produced. Period.

The story just gets better and worse because the album he had just released was not only the best music he had ever produced, for me, it was one of the best Rap/Hip Hop albums of the century. *keeps sighing*…*even shakes head*.

I have smashed ‘Swimming’. Like inside and out I’ve played this thing to death. It meanders in and out of a groove that never becomes too much. It’s right in the pocket of intelligently honest storytelling, easy kick back grooves and a vocal track that always seems to be half a second late for the party…intentionally.

I know I’ve spoken reflectively about him in a pretty affectionate light, but the reality is that I can only take him from his music and what others have said of him [as well the Youtube encyclopaedia of everything]. He may have been an arse. But I don’t think so…or maybe regardless of what he was like as a human, I choose to love him for his music and his artist persona. From what I’ve read [and I’m sure bigger Mac Miller fans could out fact me here], he was somewhat of a perfectionist who kept a tight circle of jazz fusion influenced artists like Thundercat, Vince Staples & Kendrick. Thats a pretty effective peer group.

But like most people with enough demons to have to do something to quell them on occasion, that perfectionist in him could often have him spending too many hours in his head. Again, just something I think a lot of us can identify with. With a career that spanned nearly a decade, you can see the evolution in his albums, but its his voice that is his most effective tool. Its unmistakable and will never be able to be replicated. Ever.

And as I was simply ready to put a nice little bow around the Mac Miller albums box in my head, two months ago I was scrolling through some new releases and who the fuck pops up? Like seriously, WTF?…*calls from the office to my wife in the lounge room…”BABY!!! Guess what!!!!* And the ‘guess what’ was an album called ‘Circles’. A sister album apparently always intended to be released along with Swimming but obviously never had the chance to see the light of day.

For those who are familiar with Jon Brion, Jon produced Swimming for Mac in 2018 [which doesn’t half help in making it an epic release], and put together the remnants of what they had been working on as Mac’s final studio album just over a year after his death. And its possibly one of the most reflective and melancholy albums I’ve ever heard. Perfect Miller. If you get a chance, the first track ‘Circles’ I think sums up his ability to self analyse and then turn it into the most simple, heartfelt piece of music.

I think he’s the kind of artist I could write ten times more about and still not scratch the surface. But at the end of the day, what’s really the most important part is how the music makes us feel. And for me, Mac Miller’s music is something else. To come across that kind of influence and then remember that they’re not around anymore can bring back that feeling of melancholy. But like most people in this world, I’ve experienced enough death in this life to know that we all need that feeling just as much as the good ones, or the angry ones…or the nothing ones.

Melancholy is so important to keep close to our hearts. It feels as though its our ability to experience sadness in a positive way. I often get this way when when I listen to Jeff Buckley, but I’ll admit that unlike Jeff, Mac keeps me feeling like there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. And I often feel like I’m in  tunnel.

So, in the spirit of living in a world of uncertainty, may I suggest finding a copy of ’Swimming’ and throwing it on to lift your spirits in a way that maybe you’re not used to. If you’re inclined to steer the mood the other way, throw on circles. Either way, you should come out the end of both albums feeling like you might just want to flip the album and give it another spin.

M /